Thursday, September 8, 2011

What do you do all day??

and other things that annoy me....

Because I know that all you want outta life is my happiness, a list of things that make me crazy :)  :

1.  Constant complaining.  *sigh**  (There will be lots of sighing today.)  Look people, no one likes a Negative Nellie.  Sure, we all have complaints from time to time, but when you find something to complain about all day, every day, you make me crazy.  You know that expression, "Misery loves company"?  It sure does.  In fact it loves other negative people more than anything in this world.  Know what that means?  It means if you find yourself surrounded by a bunch of negative whiners, you too are a negative whiner.   Not to be all Pollyanna and shiz on you, but you reap what you sow in everything- not just actions, but also attitude.  So cheer the blank up!

2.  For this one, I've chosen a poem.  Perhaps one of my least favorite poems in the world:  Things Not To Say to a Military Wife

a.  1. "Aren't you afraid that he'll be killed?"
      Well aren't you?  It's a legit question.  Is it the most sensitive question a person can ask a woman who's hubby just deployed?  Probably not, but then again I've said some insensitive things from time to time myself, so I'm not gonna judge you.  

b.  2. "I don't know how you manage. I don't think I could do it."
         Seriously ladies, just say thank you.  It's intended to be a compliment, so just take it that way.  If you weren't so busy trying to manage everything on your own, you wouldn't be so freakin' sensitive that a simple statement like this sets you off.  It is hard.  People who don't live this life probably do wonder how you do it.  Just tell them the truth.... lots of alcohol is involved.  (I kid... I kid...)

c.  3. "At least he's not in Iraq."
      Granted, this one can be a little irritating depending on your man's job.  But, the intent behind it is good, and really that's all that matters.  It's not necessary to come unglued.  Maybe if we work on our PR a little, military wives can stop being considered emotional basket cases by others.  Duh.

d.  "Do you think he'll get to come home for Christmas / anniversary / birthday / birth of a child / wedding / family reunion, etc.?"
        Ummm wow.. This really is a highly offensive question, because everyone who is not affiliated with the military already knows the answer, right?  Wrong.  I mean think about it.  I didn't grow up a military brat.  I didn't know squat about this life until I married into it.  I'm sure I asked others that same question.  It wasn't out of anything other than a sincere hope that they would be able to be around for that stuff.  

e.   "What are you going to do to keep yourself busy while he's gone?"
         Oh jeez... this really offends people?  Just get over yourself and answer the question.  Whether it's get a job, or sit around and eat bon-bons all day, it's harmless. 

f.  "How much longer does he have until he can get out?"
        Wait.  This is offensive?  Crap, I just asked someone this yesterday.  I had no idea asking how much longer someone had left was a violation, but I'll be sure to add it to my military wives handbook, and try to remember to feel slightly offended the next time someone asks me the same question.

g.  "This deployment shouldn't be so bad, now that you're used to it."
          Ugh.  Ok, yes having your hubby gone for months on end in a danger zone is never fun no matter how many times you've done it.  This is the one and only time you can tell someone they are an idiot haha.

h.  "My husband had to go to Europe for business once for three weeks. I totally know what you're going through."
           In her mind, she does understand.  For three weeks, she had the weight of her world solely on her shoulders.  For three weeks, she did it all with no relief and missed her man the whole time.  She might have worried for his safety.  She might have prayed his flight would land safely. She might have sat by the phone waiting for it to ring.  So what if it's short term?  She's trying to identify, and in doing so let you know that she knows just how hard it can be.  Let her.  Life is subjective.  Again, get over yourself.  You don't own the royalties on missing your man.

g.  "Wow, you must miss him."
        It's called making conversation, and btw let's be realistic, you enjoy not cooking dinner a couple nights as much as the next gal.  ;)

h.  "Where is he exactly? Where is that?"
         Just say I don't know, or be general.  Whatever... just don't act all secret squirrel.  It's annoying, even to other military wives.

i.  "Well, he signed up for it, so it's his own fault whatever happens over there."
       Hmmm...  has anyone ever really said this to someone?  Like face to face?  I can't imagine that went over well....  

j.  "Oh, that's horrible ... I'm so sorry!"
        Just say thank you.  Or don't.  But spare them an hour long lecture on the sacrifices of the military family.  

We do sacrifice- every one of us; the service member, the spouse, and perhaps most of all the children; but can't we do that graciously?  Can't we do it with a hug or a thank you to people who care enough to even pause to ask how we're handling things?  Our men have a job to do, but so do we.  We need to be here representing them on the home front.  Not with an attitude of entitlement, but just as people who happened to fall in love with a guy who gets to wear that sexy uniform to work every day.  So stop thinking you're the star of a hit Lifetime show, and start remembering what it's like to just be a person who sometimes says the wrong thing, just like everyone else.


  1. As always, I love you. "You don't own the royalties on missing your man." Nicely put. But I will try to keep my manners in check. And my negativity. :)

  2. Aww girl, just be you. That's my whole point- people just need to stop being so hard on each other! Love you too :) xox