Monday, September 12, 2011

Awww Mommy... it's just Mari-yo...

I work from home.  I have a website called If you haven't checked it out, you should.  Really.  No now, go on I'll wait.  Great! 

Now working from home is freaking awesome.  It's also close to impossible.  For all the benefits of being able to be home with your child, work in your pj's, and keep up with your 12 current games of 'Words With Friends', there's also the fact that you're home where you are surrounded by other things that need to be done and your kid(s) is/are there.  **sigh**  

Adding a merchant to my site is really easy- it literally just takes a few clicks and then waiting for stuff to load.  In reality it goes like this:

*Click download- estimated time says 2 minutes- just enough time to empty the dryer, refill it, and reload the washing machine.

*Click another download- hmmm... this one is only gonna take 30 seconds, but I can't stop looking at those dirty dishes in the sink, so I'll wash them in the meantime. This results in a vicious cycle of:  wash a couple dishes/ dry hands/ check progress/ click download/ repeat.  Did I mention that Jace is also hanging on my leg during much of this?  He LOVES to wash dishes.  **sigh**

*Click another button- realize that I haven't folded the clothes I took outta the dryer.  Now they're going to be a big flippin' mess if I don't do it now.

*Elapsed time- 27 minutes.  Time it should have taken- 4 minutes.

Adding to all this fun is the often heard, "I'm hungry" or it's partner, "I'm thirsty".  A new addition is "Come to the bathroom with me" because Jace has decided it's 'scare-wee' in there.  Oh, and the dryer just dinged again, so back to that...

I decided the other day that I could get a lot done if I gave Jace Parker's DS to play with.  I charged it and then surprised him with it just as he was harassing me yet again over who knows what.  This presentation brought much happiness just as I anticipated....  There was a lot of yelling "Yay", jumping up and down, and then this li'l gem of a phrase, "Mommy... sometimes I love you!!!"  Sometimes?  **sigh**  At any rate, Jace went to play and mission accomplished!  Only I forgot one little thing...  He always needs  my help at some point.  Cue the phrase, "Mom!  Play my game!"  

Jace is really pretty good at Mario for a 3 year old- at least I think so.  I haven't really polled the 3 year old community for Nintendo wizards, but my gut instinct tells me that my kid is superior, as always :)  He only needs help every once in a while.... Like when he's swimming, which naturally is his favorite thing.  So I've pretty much mastered the exact timing to get through the world as fast as possible and to the end where I pass the DS back to Jace so he can jump on the flagpole.  Story of my life- I do all the work, someone else gets all the glory.  C'est la vie...  (I really can't even remember what that means, it just seemed to fit.  If it doesn't, disregard.)

So inspite of my mad Mario skills, sometimes I die... then I hear this:

Jace:  (patting me on top of my head)  It's ok's just Mari-yo.  Now do it again.

Me:  **sigh**

Jace:  Mommy, what's wrong?  You just jump on the bugs.  It's ok.  You're  good grill.  

Then I think to myself, sometimes it doesn't even pay to get outta bed... but then I remember I'm in the bed 'cause I moved there so I wouldn't be constantly distracted by the fact that the kitchen needs to be mopped.  Which reminds me that I really need to go mop the bathroom.  Apparently people frown on un-toilet training your kid, which I think is lame, but whatev.  (I've turned into a high school girl at some point during this blog. I wonder if this is it?!  The time I really am gonna lose my mind like I've been telling the kids would happen since they were born.  Will I get to go to the looney bin??  Yay!!!   A vacation!!!)

Where was I?  I don't have a clue, but I did just remember a funny story.  Once we were at a church dinner.  They had these big, long tables where you were sitting with a mix of people.  Everyone was telling funny stories  and then Will popped up with this li'l gem:

Will:  Mom, remember when you were waving your arms in the air like this and saying, "I'm going crazy!  I'm going crazy!"?  

Awkward silence. Yeah.

And then one more story while we're talking about my kids humiliating me in public places:

When Parker was about three, we went out to eat with a friend.  Parker had this really cute way of saying her prayers at night, and so I asked her to show my friend.  Apparently Parker thought this was 'Night at the Improv'  **sigh**  She jumped up on her chair, and in the loudest voice possible, began to pray:

"God... you're a good God... but you could be a better God...  I'd like more toys, and a bigger house..."

that was about the point where I started dragging her off the chair.  The rest is kinda a blur.  

Ok, well I'm gonna round up this cluster of a blog and attempt to get some work done just as soon as I beat this world, fold those clothes and mop the kitchen and the bathroom.  C'est la vie!  

Friday, September 9, 2011

I don't want to be the kind of mom who puts a timer in the bathroom....

but I'm about to become the kind of mom who puts a timer in the bathroom. Seriously.

For the last four years, we've lived in Georgia where we had a 4 bed, 3 bath home.  I thought I appreciated the amount of space we had, but now I REALLY appreciate it.  In May we decided to move back to my hometown temporarily while my husband is in school in OK.  Since we are going to be moving to Texas in December, we went ahead and sent our belongings to be stored in Texas.  Thinking it would be better for everyone for us to have our own place while we were here, I rented an apt.  A very small apt.  It seemed to make sense, especially considering the fact that I had no furniture with me haha.  **sigh**

Ok, so it still makes sense.  We have borrowed some items of furniture from family members, but no one had enough extra beds lying around to furnish a four bedroom home here, and I'm sure as heck not buying what I already have sitting in storage in another state!  There's just one problem.  I feel like the little, old woman who lived in a shoe...  I actually said that aloud one day which prompted the following comments:

Parker to Will:  And you're the bug in a rug.

Will to Parker:  Well you're the butt in a hut.

Anywho- while I'm grateful- oh so grateful- for being here now, I feel a little bit like I'm on an extended camping trip.  BTW, I'm not a huge fan of camping unless restrooms are provided, and with one bathroom for four people, that's sometimes not a reality....

Especially in the morning.  I suppose if we had unlimited bathrooms and unlimited hot water, I wouldn't have an issue with Will and his 20 minutes showers.  Unfortunately, neither of those apply.  For one thing, people have to pee in the morning.  Shocking, I know.  In Will's defense, he does set his alarm to get up before everyone else so he can get his business outta the way, but when you gotta go,  you gotta go...  The scene from this morning:

As I'm squinting, trying to adjust to daylight and the day in general, I catch a glimpse of Parker outta the corner of my eye.  She's doing what I like to call the potty dance.

Parker:  Mom, I have to go to the bathroom and  Will's in there!

Me:  Well, I guess you'll just have to wait.

Parker:  (hopping from foot to foot with a look of extreme agony on her face, because apparently that helps) But I have to go now!

Me:  Ok, well we only have one bathroom....  Are you wanting a bucket, or what?  (I'm not so very gracious before noonish.)

Parker:  No, I just have to go, but he's in there.

At this point, I'm wondering exactly what I'm missing.  I'm tracking that Parker has to pee and Will is in the bathroom... What I'm not tracking is how this is my problem.  **sigh**

Me:  (knocking on the bathroom door)   Will, hurry up, Parker needs to use the bathroom!

Will:  (yelling from the shower) Well I set my alarm to get up early.

Me:  (puzzled look on my face... wondering what that has to do with the price of tea in China...)  Ok, well that's great, but she still has to pee, so can you hurry up?

Will:  (grumbling unintelligibly)

I go back to my room...  Two seconds later, the potty dance is once again taking place in my peripheral, and I'm debating telling her to walk to the bleepin' gas station haha.  I didn't.  But I'm not gonna lie, it crossed my mind.  

Will finally emerges from the bathroom, grumpy look on his face and all, and Parker manages to get her business done.  I'm still irritated though, because quite honestly, I can't even imagine how I would fill up 20 minutes of time in the shower.  I mean you get in, you get wet, you soap up, you rinse off.  How long can that take??! 

Soo yeah... I'm about to set a timer in the morning, and I'm considering investing in a Port-a-Potty.  I don't think my neighbors would mind too much...  I'm sure this will all result in my kids sitting in front of a therapist someday telling about the atrocities of having a time limit on bathing, but at least it will keep them alive, and quite frankly, I'm sure I've done worse for them to complain about...

This just in from Jace:

Mom, can you help me take my shirt off?  (Holds up hands, clearly covered in vaseline which is a MAJOR no!)  I have hot dogs on my hands. 

**sigh**  I'm trying not to feel offended by what he thinks of my intelligence.  He is only 3 after all.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

What do you do all day??

and other things that annoy me....

Because I know that all you want outta life is my happiness, a list of things that make me crazy :)  :

1.  Constant complaining.  *sigh**  (There will be lots of sighing today.)  Look people, no one likes a Negative Nellie.  Sure, we all have complaints from time to time, but when you find something to complain about all day, every day, you make me crazy.  You know that expression, "Misery loves company"?  It sure does.  In fact it loves other negative people more than anything in this world.  Know what that means?  It means if you find yourself surrounded by a bunch of negative whiners, you too are a negative whiner.   Not to be all Pollyanna and shiz on you, but you reap what you sow in everything- not just actions, but also attitude.  So cheer the blank up!

2.  For this one, I've chosen a poem.  Perhaps one of my least favorite poems in the world:  Things Not To Say to a Military Wife

a.  1. "Aren't you afraid that he'll be killed?"
      Well aren't you?  It's a legit question.  Is it the most sensitive question a person can ask a woman who's hubby just deployed?  Probably not, but then again I've said some insensitive things from time to time myself, so I'm not gonna judge you.  

b.  2. "I don't know how you manage. I don't think I could do it."
         Seriously ladies, just say thank you.  It's intended to be a compliment, so just take it that way.  If you weren't so busy trying to manage everything on your own, you wouldn't be so freakin' sensitive that a simple statement like this sets you off.  It is hard.  People who don't live this life probably do wonder how you do it.  Just tell them the truth.... lots of alcohol is involved.  (I kid... I kid...)

c.  3. "At least he's not in Iraq."
      Granted, this one can be a little irritating depending on your man's job.  But, the intent behind it is good, and really that's all that matters.  It's not necessary to come unglued.  Maybe if we work on our PR a little, military wives can stop being considered emotional basket cases by others.  Duh.

d.  "Do you think he'll get to come home for Christmas / anniversary / birthday / birth of a child / wedding / family reunion, etc.?"
        Ummm wow.. This really is a highly offensive question, because everyone who is not affiliated with the military already knows the answer, right?  Wrong.  I mean think about it.  I didn't grow up a military brat.  I didn't know squat about this life until I married into it.  I'm sure I asked others that same question.  It wasn't out of anything other than a sincere hope that they would be able to be around for that stuff.  

e.   "What are you going to do to keep yourself busy while he's gone?"
         Oh jeez... this really offends people?  Just get over yourself and answer the question.  Whether it's get a job, or sit around and eat bon-bons all day, it's harmless. 

f.  "How much longer does he have until he can get out?"
        Wait.  This is offensive?  Crap, I just asked someone this yesterday.  I had no idea asking how much longer someone had left was a violation, but I'll be sure to add it to my military wives handbook, and try to remember to feel slightly offended the next time someone asks me the same question.

g.  "This deployment shouldn't be so bad, now that you're used to it."
          Ugh.  Ok, yes having your hubby gone for months on end in a danger zone is never fun no matter how many times you've done it.  This is the one and only time you can tell someone they are an idiot haha.

h.  "My husband had to go to Europe for business once for three weeks. I totally know what you're going through."
           In her mind, she does understand.  For three weeks, she had the weight of her world solely on her shoulders.  For three weeks, she did it all with no relief and missed her man the whole time.  She might have worried for his safety.  She might have prayed his flight would land safely. She might have sat by the phone waiting for it to ring.  So what if it's short term?  She's trying to identify, and in doing so let you know that she knows just how hard it can be.  Let her.  Life is subjective.  Again, get over yourself.  You don't own the royalties on missing your man.

g.  "Wow, you must miss him."
        It's called making conversation, and btw let's be realistic, you enjoy not cooking dinner a couple nights as much as the next gal.  ;)

h.  "Where is he exactly? Where is that?"
         Just say I don't know, or be general.  Whatever... just don't act all secret squirrel.  It's annoying, even to other military wives.

i.  "Well, he signed up for it, so it's his own fault whatever happens over there."
       Hmmm...  has anyone ever really said this to someone?  Like face to face?  I can't imagine that went over well....  

j.  "Oh, that's horrible ... I'm so sorry!"
        Just say thank you.  Or don't.  But spare them an hour long lecture on the sacrifices of the military family.  

We do sacrifice- every one of us; the service member, the spouse, and perhaps most of all the children; but can't we do that graciously?  Can't we do it with a hug or a thank you to people who care enough to even pause to ask how we're handling things?  Our men have a job to do, but so do we.  We need to be here representing them on the home front.  Not with an attitude of entitlement, but just as people who happened to fall in love with a guy who gets to wear that sexy uniform to work every day.  So stop thinking you're the star of a hit Lifetime show, and start remembering what it's like to just be a person who sometimes says the wrong thing, just like everyone else.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Who is that crazy lady chasing the school bus??!!

Oh, that's just Will's mom...  **sigh**

So Will is my forgetful child...  When I say 'forgetful' I mean to the extent that I've often wondered if one can be born with Alzheimer's.  He regularly forgets everything from where to put his dirty clothes, to any and everything needed for school that day.  You know the expression, "You'd forget your head if it wasn't attached"?  That's Will.  Seriously.  The fact that Will forgets stuff CONSTANTLY means that people are pretty much fed up with it.  At this point, even if it is an honest mistake there are consequences.

Yesterday morning Will texts me from his dad's to ask me about his soccer stuff- half of which was at my house, half of which was at the other.  I told him that yes, his red shorts were at my house.  A little bit later when Will rolls in for b'fast (welcome to Mom's Diner!!) I show him where I've laid out his shorts.  He tells me he doesn't need the red ones because they are wearing white.  Ok...  well I would go ahead and put them in my jumbo sized soccer bag, but whatever.  I go on about my day.

Yesterday afternoon I get the following frantic phone call:

Will:  (mumble, mumble, unintelligible,) supposed to be wearing red shorts, (mumble, mumble,) thought they were at my dad's, now I don't have time to come by your house so please meet me at the school!

Me, being the good mama that I am, hop in the car to take them to the school... When I get there, the entire team is already on the bus, so I circle around and pull up behind it and call Will.  While the phone is ringing, the bus starts pulling off....

Me:  Will, tell them to stop for a sec and I'll run these up to you.

Will:  No, they can't, just try to get beside us.

Uhhh... ok...  is that even legal?  And do I look like I went to the Dukes of Hazard driving school?!  But whatever, I think I'll just catch them at the stop sign.  So I tell Will to ask them to hold 2 secs at the stop sign.  I'm seriously riding their bumper, shorts in hand.  Will says, "No, they can't."

Hmmm... at this point, I'm thinking something is a li'l shady.  I mean for one, I haven't heard Will ask anyone to hold, and for two, who doesn't have a spare second?  At any rate, the bus blows through the first two stop signs.  Well, I mean, the bus stopped, but for reasons that can only be attributed to Murphy's Law, there was no traffic, so everytime I got my door open, the bus was taking off again. 

Ok.. there was one more stop coming up that was still in town, and it's at a  busy crossroad, so I felt confident that I could accomplish Mission Shorts Toss.  I call Will again:

Me:  Ok, tell the kid in the back seat on the left to put his window down and hold his arm out when the bus stops.

Will:  No Mom, I can't.

Me:  %&$^$#&$ (a word most people probably don't say to their kids, but then again most people don't have my kids *sigh*) why can't you??  Tell him now!

Will:  Mom, I didn't want anyone to find out I didn't have my shorts!  I'll get in trouble.

Me:  (^*&%$(*&()**^%$%#$%#@#$^&(*&)(*)(&*&%%&$$$# tell him to stick  his arm out NOW!

Will:  Please Mom, just follow us to Mayfield!  (20 minutes away, 'cause gas is free ya know?)


Will:  Ok....

Sooo by this point, the bus is stopped, the kid puts down his window, I jump out of my car and run.  I've got the shorts all rolled up for maximum flight potential, and I'll be damned if yet again there was NO FREAKING TRAFFIC!!!  This is UNHEARD of!  **sigh**  So here I am running beside the bus, while the entire team is staring out the window (but obviously not the  bus driver).  My efforts were fruitless, and at this point I said, forget it.

**ring ring**

Me:  What do you want Will?

Will:  Mom, I didn't want anyone to know.  Now I probably won't start and it's all your fault.

::banging head into dashboard::

I'll spare you lecture that followed, including but not limited to, "It's MY fault you forgot your shorts??"  

Ahhh Motherhood.  The only role one can have in life in which everything that goes wrong in anyone else's life is all your fault.  Well, that and being a wife.  **sigh**

The Daily Jace:  (said to anyone who will listen)  The school bus kept running away from Mommy!!!!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

No, those aren't boogers on my lips

and other things that make me sigh...

If you look at pictures of me when I was about 3 years old, in most of them I'm sporting what looks like a kool-aid mustache.  The reality is that my lips were chapped, along with all the skin around my lips...  I said all that, to say this:  At the moment I don't look much different than those old pics...  Just a few more crow's feet, but the mouth?  Definitely the same.  My lips are so majorly, uncomfortably dry right now.  I've been putting chapstick on like a mad woman but it's not been helping... Sooo last night as I was trying to fall asleep, I kept licking my lips.  I knew while I was doing it that I was going to look like Lisa Rinna this morning, but did that stop me??  Nooooo....  So here I am with my not-so-cute inflated lipped, kool-aid mustache thingy going on.  Sexy, I tell ya.

Why do kids have a knack for finding something you are self conscious about and making you feel like your worst fears are being realized?  For instance, when Will was small he loved to tell me that my legs looked like "tree trunks".  I'm sure it was relatively innocent in his li'l mind, but I felt like a lumberjack and often wondered how I even managed to get around with those massive redwood thighs of mine... **sigh**

So today, as I slather on copious amounts of chapstick and try to avoid licking my lips at all costs, I turn around to notice Jace up in my grill.  Here's how it all went down:

(Jace peering intently at my top lip)  (I'm trying to set a scene here, but I'm not a screenwriter, so use your imagination.)

Me:  What are you doing?
Jace:  There are boogers on your lip.
Me:  ***sigh**  No Jace, those aren't boogers, my lips are just chapped.
(More intent staring by Jace...)
Jace:  No, they're boogers. Here, let me get it.
(Insert tiny hand rapidly approaching my lip with it's li'l pincher-like fingers.)
Me:  No!  Don't touch Jace!  They hurt.
Jace:  Mom, you have boogers on there, just let me get them!!!
Me:  Wahhh... Wahh... (insert sobbing, moaning and gnashing of teeth.)

That pretty much sums it all up.  I could go on about the fight that ensued, because that kid is not unlike his dad (a dog with a bone, I'm tellin' ya!) but I'm sure you get the picture.  So now I have to get ready to take Jace to an appt and I feel like my lips are about as obvious as the hunchback's, er... hunchback.  I don't guess it really matters, since I'm JustAMom after all, but damn.

On the plus side, I've lost 5.5 lbs since Saturday, go me!  I only ate one cupcake at the bbq.  (If you were there and saw me licking every bit of icing off the cupcake liner, don't judge.)

I'm off to take my sick kid to the doctor, and to perhaps invest in some heavy duty lip stuff while I'm out showing my disfigured self to the world.  Enjoy your day~

Monday, September 5, 2011

Target Practice

or potty training boys...  whichever you prefer.  Because quite frankly, they are both fitting.
When you are expecting a baby boy, no one tells you to expect to come into contact with their pee at various times in their lives- some more than others. Even now, 17 years later, we still laugh about Will spraying down my mom's entire kitchen- including a colander full of home grown tomatoes.  I had no idea that A) a newborn could hold that much, and B) little weinies are not unlike pressure hoses... if you aren't hanging on to them, they're gonna spray everywhere!  Fast forward to Jace, 13 years later....  Changing his diaper involved various special ops movements to ensure that air never touched his man part.  Air, it seems, acted as an immediate pee-inducing agent.  Who knew?  Naturally that strange air/pee situation resolved itself around the same time that I perfected the two handed remove and replace. Little did I know what was to come....
I don't remember having such issues potty training Will.  I mean, other than the fact that I thought I'd have to send him to high school in adult diapers.  Despite a fierce stubborn streak, when he was finally ready, in my memory, it was all good.  Jace on the other hand... well it's really typical Jace- not what you're expecting, and just cute enough to keep the edge off my frustration.  Jace started off stubborn like his brother.  Sad, because the ease at which I potty trained Parker, (in about 2 days the week of her 2nd birthday,) lulled me into a false sense of "Hey, I got this motherhood thing!"  Being a parent who tries to choose battles wisely, I would try, have no luck, and then proceed to give it a bit longer before trying again.  The joy that came with the knowledge that no occupants of my house would ever be in diapers again, (Lord willing) is slightly dampened, (no pun intended,) by the amount of mopping I'm doing these days...  In Jace's defense, he does claim that his "pee pee" is just "too big" to aim properly.  Not being a man, I can't be sure how well that theory holds up.  From the looks of things, it's a li'l shaky... but what do I know?  
We started Jace out sitting down to pee, because he's not tall enough to stand.  When it soon became clear that I'd be mopping 'til the day I die, I decided to buy him a step stool to see if standing up would help.  Perhaps I should have been more specific about the purpose of the step stool:
Me:  Jace, you wanna stand up and pee like a big boy?
Jace:  Yes!
Me:  We'll get you this step stool so you can reach!
Uhh...yeah...  I so wasn't expecting to hear Jace yell, "I peed like a big boy!!" only to discover he'd turned the step stool upside down and peed in it...  *sigh*  On the plus side, he did hit the intended target.  For what it's worth...
At this point, I'm considering leaving him in diapers until he gets married, at which point his wife can take over the mopping.  In the meantime, I will take any suggestions, or pointers haha, on how to successfully teach aiming of li'l members- so fire away, but please hit the target.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Beauty is Painful...

I learned that from watching "Toddlers and Tiaras"...  So says my 10 yo daughter Parker :)  It's true, she's right, and thank the Lord that I have a daughter who's level headed and beautiful just the way God made her.

Me on the other hand?  I could use some work!  Today begins the 9 bazillionth dieting attempt.  I'm not really sure how I got so out of control, but I am determined to fix it this time.  I will say the chocolate chip cupcakes with home made chocolate buttercream frosting that I made today are not helping my cause ;)  Fortunately they are for a bbq tomorrow so I'll have plenty of help eating them.  *sigh*

Is home made one word, or two?  That's really been bugging the shiz outta me today...  I keep making it two, but it doesn't look right!

Soo I'll wrap up with another cute li'l story from Parker.  She wore a dress to school two days in a row.  A girl in her class asked her why she had been dressing up, and her teacher said, "She's trying to find a man!"  A little boy in the classroom threw his hand up in the air and started yelling, "I'm a man!  I'm a man!"  Ahhh, I love kids!  I love their honesty, I love their energy and I love their confidence.  Here's to little boys who aren't afraid to wear their hearts on their sleeves :)

Friday, September 2, 2011

I'm back!

Woo hoo!  Two in one day!  Yes, well I'm bored and what am I gonna do?  housework??
Actually I just remembered something my goof ball three year old did last night.  We were at the airport picking up Daddy...  As we're standing in the baggage claim area waiting for him to show up, my son was hiding behind my legs...  I thought he was just being his usual shy self until I felt warmth on my booty.  Yeah... he was licking my a$$... in the middle of the airport...  *sigh* Does this happen to other people?  My 10 yo was hysterical over the fact that I now had a wet spot in the middle of my butt.

The Daily Jace (the infamous 3 year old):

Me:  Jace why don't you have your undies on?
Jace:  Because they are wet.
Me:  Why are they wet??
Jace:  Because they were in the ass.

Ummm... I'm not certain that's what he was saying, but I asked him three times to repeat himself and each time it sounded the same.  I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to home school him when the time comes 8-0

Well I'm off to feed people.  Perhaps it will be Jace's favorite- pb and jellyfish sandwiches!

In The Beginning

God created Heaven and Earth... I'm not going quite that far back though.  I'm not even going to go all the way back to 1975, which is the year I was born.  This life begins in August of 1994, when my first child was born.  My life hasn't been the same since, and I'm pretty sure I haven't stopped laughing...  

Ok, in all honestly, my oldest is 17 now.  As far as he's concerned, I stopped laughing about the time he hit puberty and decided I was ridiculously clueless about any and all subjects.  While I wait for him to like me again, I'm fortunate enough to have two more kids who make me laugh, including Jace, my 3 yo who is widely (well as wide as my facebook friends list,) known for the stuff that comes out of his mouth on a regular basis.  Whether it's mispronunciations that make me giggle- (don't even get me started on the wisdom of naming a child's train "Percy", knowing many if not most toddlers have speech impediments!) or just the quick wit that my kids are known for, I'm such a lucky mom!

The Daily Will (my 17 yo):  

Me:  Will- did you see on the news where this man has been arrested twice for having sex with a horse?!

Will:  Yeah... you know what they say...  Neighhhh means neighhhh!

Man, I love my kids!